I. Definitions for marriage
A. Married partners are a single organism.
B. Marriage is for life.
C. The union has aspects that go far beyond the sexual.
II. Divorce
A. Christian churches have a high view of marriage.
B. Popular culture calls for easy divorce.
C. Keeping marriage vows places the question in the realm of justice.
D. Control of sexual impulses is a duty, as with all other impulses.
E. Unbelief in permanent marriage should dissuade people from it.
III. Being in love
A. Being in love causes people to bind themselves with promises.
B. When being in love ceases
1. Being in love is a feeling.
2. Feelings change and diminish.
3. Being in love yields to actual love.
IV. Actual love
A. Actual love is a deep unity, willed, strengthened by habit, reinforced by grace.
B. Myth: Being in love continues indefinitely.
C. The thrill of being in love is displaced by the commitment of love.
D. Myth: Falling in love is irresistible.
E. Like any feeling or impulse, it can and should be resisted by married people.
V. There should be a sharp distinction drawn between civil marriage and church marriage.
VI. The head of the family
A. There must be one head, because equality can result in deadlock.
B. There is something unnatural about a man being dominated by his wife.
C. A woman’s interests lie within the family, whereas a man can be more just to the outside world.
Discussion Questions: (pp. 104-114)
1. “Love is the great conqueror of lust.” Do you agree? Why? (p. 108)
2. Can ‘being in love’ give way to committed love? How be this fact be conveyed to young people, especially given the focus in popular culture on ‘being in love’? (p. 108-109)
3. Leaving aside St. Paul’s other remarks about the role of women, for the moment, do Lewis’s reasons for male headship make sense? (pp. 112-114)
A. Married partners are a single organism.
B. Marriage is for life.
C. The union has aspects that go far beyond the sexual.
II. Divorce
A. Christian churches have a high view of marriage.
B. Popular culture calls for easy divorce.
C. Keeping marriage vows places the question in the realm of justice.
D. Control of sexual impulses is a duty, as with all other impulses.
E. Unbelief in permanent marriage should dissuade people from it.
III. Being in love
A. Being in love causes people to bind themselves with promises.
B. When being in love ceases
1. Being in love is a feeling.
2. Feelings change and diminish.
3. Being in love yields to actual love.
IV. Actual love
A. Actual love is a deep unity, willed, strengthened by habit, reinforced by grace.
B. Myth: Being in love continues indefinitely.
C. The thrill of being in love is displaced by the commitment of love.
D. Myth: Falling in love is irresistible.
E. Like any feeling or impulse, it can and should be resisted by married people.
V. There should be a sharp distinction drawn between civil marriage and church marriage.
VI. The head of the family
A. There must be one head, because equality can result in deadlock.
B. There is something unnatural about a man being dominated by his wife.
C. A woman’s interests lie within the family, whereas a man can be more just to the outside world.
Discussion Questions: (pp. 104-114)
1. “Love is the great conqueror of lust.” Do you agree? Why? (p. 108)
2. Can ‘being in love’ give way to committed love? How be this fact be conveyed to young people, especially given the focus in popular culture on ‘being in love’? (p. 108-109)
3. Leaving aside St. Paul’s other remarks about the role of women, for the moment, do Lewis’s reasons for male headship make sense? (pp. 112-114)
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